Do you want to know why you drive the car you do? Or why you are in the job you are in? better yet, I can tell you why you are married to the person you are married to.The answer is simple. Its your .The beliefs you have, embedded deep without us knowing inside of our subconscious mind have shaped our reality and therefore shaped the way we see the world.
I can continue to ask things such as:
Are you happy where you are in life?
Is your weight the way you want it to be?
Did you picture being in the job you are in now?
Are you in a marriage you always wanted?
And if the answer is no then I can explain why you perhaps have settled or given up on yourself.
Now, please don’t take offence to this as for me when I realised, I wasn’t where I wanted to be when I was an uneducated 17-year-old, living out of home and scrubbing toilets for a living.
Who we are and how we perceive our world is based on simple thing, our beliefs.
That Simple, one-word Belief is responsible for the marriages we have, the weight we don’t lose and the car we chose to drive.
Allow me to explain how our individual level of self-belief is inextricably linked to our identity, and ultimately the way we see ourselves, our world and our outcomes.
Self-Belief is the confidence you have in your own abilities.
I.e. if a person has their self-belief or confidence levels as low, and they lack the capability to believe in their abilities then that vision is what shapes their outcomes and vision of the world.
What’s interesting though, is where do these beliefs come from? How come some people’s levels are greater than others? How come some people exude confidence while others don’t?
Our self-beliefs are formed in either two ways, through experience or environment.
Allow me to give you an example that might resonate with you.
Sarah wants to lose 10 kgs for upcoming Wedding. She makes a plan to move more and eat less food. She sets out on the new plan, but then slowly loses enthusiasm after day 3 or 4.
Disheartened with her attempt, she creates an internal dialogue that goes something like this: “I am no good at exercising enough. Or I can’t give up bread, I just have to have it”
What has really happened here is that Sarah’s self-belief was created before she attempted this new plan. In her past experiences (which is one of the two ways a belief is created) she has proven that she cannot stay consistent and stick to a plan. Therefore, when she attempts to stick to her new diet plan, she is unable to because her internal self-belief has not changed.
Sarah’s sees herself as someone who isn’t committed, who doesn’t stick to plans and has proven through her experience that she will not commit to this new exercise regime.
The beliefs we hold to ourselves are so strong and so true to us, after all, a belief is something that is true for you (Deepak Chopra) that it shapes our reality. Our beliefs shape for us who we are and how we see our world.****
Who are we? Who do we want to be and how do we rebuild our level of self belief?
It is through learning how to trust oneself again that we can begin to believe in ourselves, building up our self-belief over time. Self-belief is by definition the ability to believe in one’s self and their abilities but something that people often forget is that you need to give yourself a reason to believe.
It is the simple effort to build up the internal confidence. If you have a belief system that says “I can’t do that” then begin to prove to yourself over time that you can do those tasks by starting small and accomplishing it, one step at a time.
This process takes time, whereby you prove to yourself why you should believe in yourself and take on a new identity. Building up your self-belief is about doing more of the belief you want rather than the belief you don’t want until one day the new belief is so strong all of a sudden you can stick to the diet plan.
For the people I mentor and work with, I constantly help them to break down these barriers by building up the level of confidence they have within themselves one bit at a time. It’s a process of understanding the doubt - I can’t do this, then working on the self-belief behind it.